[smiling] i did it! i told him i liked him. hope everything turns out good like he said. [crossing fingers] cant stop smiling. i feel better that i told him, whew! dammit ruth come home now. things always happen to me when your gone and i always need your advice. geez. oh well, gonna go eat, woo-hoo! wOw, i guess i did live up to my new years resolution -to not be a big ass chicken and have some guts. ha. bye!
happy new year guys! yea, i cant sleep. i dunno, i have a lot on my mind now. if this is how my year started, can u imagine how this year is gonna be? *sigh* i dunno, im not trippin that much[kinda]. either it goes the way i hope it does, or it doesnt. cant do anything about that right? sorry if im not making sense but sometimes i just wish i knew what other people were thinking. that would be so much easier. but it doesnt work that way. if he wasnt gonna come out and say whatever he had to say, then i should have right? yah, okay i did that. but now why am i lost more that ever? yah these are the times when we all wish life was simple and not full of these so called complications and confusions that we all seem to whine about. im not whining; just wondering i guess. i like him a lot. but im really scared of being hurt, again. but thats just something im gonna have to risk huh? yea, i noe. God, i need help. too bad ruth isnt here, that would help a grip. she always said "camel, dont mess it up!" i would respond, "i noe, i noe." i dont want to mess it up. i dunno whatever happens, happens. alrite, happy new year again. [can't fall asleep tonite, i dont noe what to do. i hold my pillow but i want to be holding you. -lyric from the song heaven]
dont be surprised, its me blogging again. yup well i just got home from oxnard and i did a lot of thinking, good thinking. [caution: this blog might be corny!] man do i take a lot for granted. i never really realized how f*ing lucky i am you noe. even though at times, A LOT of times, im always saying how UN-lucky i am im really not. like geez, my relatives from rhode island are here and they are amazed at how many filipinos live here. here everywhere you go you see like fifty at least[maybe?] and thats weird to them. i mean could you imagine not growing up in san diego? damn am i glad to live here. like would i noe what a fob was if i didnt live here. i dunno. haha, im talking about the gayest stuff man. yea and i realized another thing; i have a pretty great family. yah that was hella corny but i do. i noticed i act just like my parents, which makes them pretty kool considering that im kool [haha, stupid]. but yah, i feel so happy for some reason. i should write my senior ad huh? but ever since the whole closure thing, everything else seems to be looking good. i dunno, i just feel really happy; honestly i do. hehe me and my cousins were talking about all these old clothes and what used to be kool. man, remember GITANO? haha, i dunno. im getting old. all my little cousins are getting so big now and its weird cause i was talking to my aunties and parents the way i talk to my friends. thats crazy. you noe how when your at your aunties house and its really late and everyone starts going to sleep but all the adults stay up, drink coffee and talk. well, i stayed up to talk to them, weird? haha i dunno i probably sound like a total idiot right now but thats okay cause im happy. have you ever had someone look up to you. its really weird but it makes you feel all special. my cousin, she is like my mini me i swear. but i dunno i noticed she hella looks up to me and shes into a lot of stuff that i was into at that age or right now and hell were both scorpios. damn, now i hella feel old. oh well im still happy dammit. haha..okay enough dumb thinking for today. PEACE.
